I’ve thanked my readers before for their patience as I shift platforms and prepare to write meaningfully about Pagan stuff again. I thank you again, I’m glad for those who have stuck with me on my journey through WordPress as Pagan Church Lady, Patheos, Paganbloggers.com, and back here.
Over the two years I’ve been through many physical moves and a very rough time emotionally and financially. My Gods and spirits have lead the way, helping me through all of it, and I’m very grateful to them.
My writing has been cramped, though, mainly for social reasons. I started blogging as a Heathen. Years later that stopped fitting me entirely. I do not agree with many of the premises of Heathenry, and now I know that I am not alone in feeling lured in by promises of community and love of the Gods and Ancestors and feeling betrayed by the bigotry, hostility, and mean-spiritedness so prevalent in that community. For a while I was bitter. I still am, a little.
The Gods I loved and were the most devoted to from those pantheons – Freyja and the Vanir, and Loki – have stayed in my devotions and I have grown in relationship with them, regardless of shedding that label. Since moving on from that community I have found other communities and paths where I have learned new techniques, encountered new Gods and spirits (and reacquainted myself with some old ones) and become a more complete person spiritually.
I haven’t been writing publicly, though, because I’ve been afraid and forgetting my own advice (as well as Morgan Daimler’s). I’ve been afraid that my Recon friends will shake their fingers and heads and mutter disapprovingly at me having spiritual experiences (even though I’m a mystic and that’s what I do). I’ve been afraid of single-pantheon and single-deity friends clucking their tongues at me or thinking that I’m a flake because suddenly I’m surrounded by Dionysian and Orphic stuff. I’ve been afraid of speaking up about one of the things that I’ve been good at speaking to in the past, and that people have thanked me for speaking to in the past, and that is a fear that I need to get over.
End Times are upon us people. Not “the End” probably (although it may be possible that global warming could disrupt the biosphere past the post where multicellular life can function). In 2016 our stars started falling as we saw the deaths of poets and singers and artists that influenced generations. In 2017 we saw a literal Apocalypse, an unveiling, as the monsters began to come out in public with their swastikas and take positions of power. In 2018 we are seeing some of this darkness made manifest in children being stolen from their families (by ICE to be clear) and DISAPPEARING or being sold into child trafficking rings, whole classes of people being dehumanized, and “a sea barren of fruit.. a multitude of storms… treacherous princelings… joy in evil” There is /plenty/ of stuff going on in the spirit realms to match this, and many of us have felt it.
So it’s time for new heresies, and it’s time for me to stop being afraid of speaking to what I see and experience. It’s time to be willing to accept the possibility of being wrong in the pursuit of trying to figure out what is right. It’s time for new stories, new myths, new pacts, new oaths, new arrangements and relationships between the Powers and humankind. It’s time for new legends, and I know many heroes and I love telling stories.
So I thank you for your patience while I worked through some difficult periods and uncertainties and found my voice again.